Nerves and exhaustion!

I am tired, I want to sleep for a whole 8 hours! I need sleep! I hope I get it! I had a dream last night that I was late to my race, I had to take the boys, and I had to carry them all the way to the race site and I could barely pick up my legs. It was my first race related dream. It was bizarre and although there was more to it, that's all I remember. Seems this one has my nerves up.

On another note, not necessarily a good one, I realized this morning as I was fighting back tears, that weren't provoked by anything, that running is the only way to keep myself balanced. I haven't run since Tuesday. When I go this long I have a hard time stabilizing my mood. I don't run and the darkness sets in and I worry more and I lose my patience easier. I can feel the shift in balance. I was worried about the race tomorrow as my legs are still bothering me some, but now all I want to do is run, run out the bad and take in the good, to get to a place of zen. I need my fix. I need to run to feel myself again. I know that these tough times will pass, I always pull through, I am strong and can make it, especially now with running. I'm stronger when I run. I use to be like this with soccer. I would go out and kick the ball and kick and kick until I felt balanced. I could always maintain the balance between whatever negative mood and happiness. I find the same in running, if I'm mad, I run and the anger dissipates. I'm sad, I run and the tears dry up. I'm anxious, I run and I wonder why I was anxious to begin with. I'm scared, I run and the fear leaves my body. If I'm confused, I run and all things become clear, the fog lifts. So I guess in the end, my nerves are more silly than effective, so I will push them aside and Sueann will have to remind me in the morning when I ask to use the potty 4 more times that it's just pre-race jitters, for now...I feel ready!